


(un)requited

by syzygy_dust



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: M/M, also inspired by sewoon's tsundere(?)ness, we need more gwanghyun appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:10:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syzygy_dust/pseuds/syzygy_dust
Summary: He had always felt insecure about many things. His current source of anxiety? Produce 101. His shaky ranking, evil editing, andno screen-time. But being infatuated with his fellow Starship trainee takes the cake.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had this unfinished in my drafts for weeks but watching that v live of them...  
> i'd like to apologize to gwanghyun for not doing him justice

 

Gwanghyun knows that Sewoon doesn't feel the same way about him. And he's fine with that, as long as they can keep their friendship. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders if they'll even be able to have that.

 

###

 

"You're handsome too." That's all that echoes in the back of his mind. It's meant as a reassuring statement, but he'll take what he can get. For the next few days, he forgets about his measly rank and just focuses on practicing. And Sewoon.

 

###

 

Gwanghyun lies on his bed, reading a book. Sewoon sits on the bed across from him, tuning his guitar. Without Youngmin and Donghyun, the dorm seems too empty. As if reading his mind, Sewoon starts to strum his guitar, filling the silence with a pleasant tune. Recognizing the song, Gwanghyun begins singing along absentmindedly, flipping the page of his book as he does so. The impromptu duet doesn't last long before he runs out of air and interrupts himself with a coughing fit, dropping his book and pounding his chest. Sewoon gently puts his guitar down and looks over at him in concern. As his coughing dies down, Gwanghyun clears his throat and smiles sheepishly at Sewoon.

"Sorry, I should have warmed up." _I ruined it._ He sends an apologetic look his way. Sewoon's worried frown morphs into a grin.

"There's no reason to apologize, really." he reassures him. "It was cute." Gwanghyun almost has a heart attack. _Have you looked in a mirror?_  He can hear his heartbeat speeding up, going into overdrive. He turns away from Sewoon, trying to calm himself down.  _He called me cute._ An irritated voice in the back of his head pipes up. _He doesn't mean it like that. He never will. Stop getting your hopes up._

He turns back to look at his friend, playing his guitar as if nothing had ever happened. He smiles bitterly. _Stop getting your hopes up._ He gets off of his bed and stands up, deciding to search for Youngmin and Donghyun. There's no reason to be mulling over something so obvious.

The book lies on the floor, forgotten.

 

###

 

It finally happens. The second eliminations. He's glad to have been able to make it this far. He has no regrets.

That's a lie.

He can't help the anxiety and hope that wells up in him, wondering if he made a miraculous leap to 35th place. His eyes start to water when he spots Hwanwoong shaking his head. He keeps his head down, not daring to look up at the screen announcing the candidates for thirty-fifth place. When nobody nudges him, he accepts defeat and raises his head, smiling sadly when he sees Eunki sigh in disappointment. Thirty-eighth. He was close.

 

Gwanghyun stands up from his seat and walks towards the others, searching for Sewoon. He stands away from the other trainees, scanning the crowd. He spots a familiar head of hair a few yards away, near the stairs. He snaps out of his daze, running towards him. He wiggles through the crowd, excusing himself, before coming to a stop right in front of Sewoon. They stare at each other for a few seconds. He blinks furiously, realizing that tears are cascading down his face. Sewoon becomes a blurry, gray-suited image. Sewoon. _Sewoon._

Sighing, Sewoon envelops Gwanghyun in a hug, patting his back. "Why are you crying?" he teases. Gwanghyun hiccups and sniffs, sobbing into his friend's shoulder. He hears a breathy laugh from Sewoon. All of the background noise fades away. Silence. He feels Sewoon shaking, tightening his arms around him. Gwanghyun wonders why the pain is even worse this time. He should have gotten used to it.

 

###

 

Produce 101 is a blessing and a curse for him.

Gwanghyun isn't dense. He knows that Sewoon and Jaewhan are on a level of popularity he could only hope to reach. It had always been apparent, ever since the start of the season. Even with Youngmin and Donghyun; he had always felt awkward and out of place when the four of them hung out together. Like he didn't belong. Watching the final stage with the other trainees in the crowd, Gwanghyun wonders if the day he'll be left behind is going to come sooner than he anticipated. Seeing Sewoon walk out onto the stage, surrounded by adoring fans, his stomach flip-flops. The distance between them is even more obvious, he realizes.

 

_And I'm falling even further behind._

 

 

####

 

When Sewoon tells Gwanghyun that he's handsome, he wonders if he overstepped a boundary. He gives him a smile and a quiet "You too." before quickly shifting his gaze back to the YGKPlus trainees making their way towards the stairs. Sewoon can't help but stare at him, analyzing his response. _Did I make him uncomfortable? No, he's probably nervous since it's our first day. Everyone is. I hope._  He turns his attention back to the set. It isn't until he's in bed, trying to sleep when he realizes that _Gwanghyun finds him attractive too_.

 

He falls asleep smiling.

 

###

 

He's playing a melody on his guitar when he hears Gwanghyun join in, already knowing the lyrics to the song. The very...romantic lyrics. Embarrassingly so. He nearly plays the wrong chord when he hears a line about expressing his feelings through music. Images of crumpled up paper and unfinished love songs suddenly flash through his mind. His fingers fumble. Regaining his composure, he glances over at Gwanghyun, who has a bored look on his face as he stares at his book. He can't help but feel disappointed and relieved. It looks like he didn't notice.

_But what if he did?_

Sewoon's derailing train of thought gets interrupted when he hear coughing. He stops playing (realizing with mild concern that he had ended on a different song than he had started out with) and sets his guitar aside, looking over at Gwanghyun. Worried, he's about to stand up when the coughing stops. Gwanghyun sits up, turning towards Sewoon. He coughs once again to clear his throat before he scratches his neck, flushing the slightest bit. Sewoon wonders if he can salvage any of the many (love) songs he had thrown away.

"Sorry, I should have warmed up." Sewoon blinks, confused. _It's just like him, to say sorry over nothing._ He smiles affectionately at Gwanghyun, trying to put him at ease. Without thinking, he opens his mouth. 

"There's no reason to apologize, really. It was cute." Pausing at his own words, Sewoon lets out an embarrassed laugh.  _Shouldn't have said that out loud._ He quickly reaches out for his guitar, wincing when he bangs his hand on the wood. He picks it up, turning away and playing a random melody, any melody. _One wrong chord. T_ _wo_   _wrong chords_. A dissonant  _twang_ resounds from the guitar. He perseveres, keeps on playing until he calms down enough to look back at Gwanghyun's reaction.

The bed is empty. 

 

###

 

He prays, eyes shut and clasped hands resting against his forehead. When BoA announces the contenders for thirty-fifth place, he makes one last plea to the heavens and opens his eyes. The giant screens have four people on them. He cranes his neck.

No Gwanghyun.

A wave of anguish hits him like a truck. He bends over, feeling all of the strength leave his body. He stares at the space between his feet. His elbows dig into his legs, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes harshly. It hurts. He had been assuming all this time that they would rise to the top together. Gwanghyun had to stay. Sewoon needed him. Who could he depend on if he was left alone? He stays hunched over, tuning out the noise from his surroundings. He feels a light touch on his shoulder. Snapping out of his trance, he looks up to see Donghyun, hovering over him with a concerned expression.

"It's time to say goodbye now." Goodbye. He had never even considered the thought. They'd have to part ways. Sewoon slowly nods, standing up to walk down the staircase after Donghyun. He stands off to the side, looking for Gwanghyun reluctantly. A part of him wants to delay the goodbye, just so that they can stay in the same room. Before he can act on his plan, he hears frantic footsteps. His head whips around to spot his friend worming his way through the crowd. He comes to a stop right in front of him. Sewoon feels an ache in his chest at the sight of him. They stare at each other until Gwanghyun breaks his composure, tears falling down his face as he starts to sniffle. Sewoon feels his heart breaking into a million pieces. He puts on a smile and steps forward to hug him. 

"Why are you crying?" He asks teasingly, struggling to hold back his tears as well. Gwanghyun lets out a sob in response, burying his face into Sewoon's shoulder. He laughs quietly, searching for the right words to cheer him up. Opening his mouth, his throat tightens, making him choke. He falls quiet, squeezing Gwanghyun tighter for comfort. Looking straight ahead, he almost flinches at the sight of the thirty-fifth seat. He can't take his eyes off of that chair. It stands only a few feet away from them, mocking him.

He decides that day, with Gwanghyun's teary face imprinted in his mind, that he hates the number 35.

 

###

 

In the end, he's glad that he didn't end up debuting. When he finds Gwanghyun after the last broadcast, any lingering disappointment he has disappears. He's relieved that they won't have to part ways again. Noticing him, Gwanghyun waves Sewoon over excitedly. He looks bright and cheerful, unlike the last time he saw him. He suddenly pauses, adopting a more subdued expression.

"So...are you feeling okay?" Gwanghyun whispers quietly into his ear. Sewoon steps back, gripping his friend's shoulders loosely, and smiles. 

"Yeah. Don't worry."

Gwanghyun looks at him in disbelief, gently pushing his arms away. Sewoon can't help feeling a little disappointed.

"You were so close, though...if only..." Gwanghyun continues to ramble, unaware of Sewoon's fond gaze. He stares at his friend, only vaguely registering his words. His friend. His kindhearted friend who he had depended on so much throughout their journey together. Sewoon nearly tears up. 

"I really don't care. I just wanted to see you."

Gwanghyun cuts himself off and blinks slowly, as if he can't comprehend what he just heard. Sewoon quietly clears his throat. "I missed you," he hesitantly adds. The butterflies in his stomach work themselves up into a panicked frenzy as he stares at his friend's frozen expression. He manages a strained smile. They stare into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity.  _I really screwed u-_

Gwanghyun's confused frown spreads into a giddy smile, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink as he glances away. 

"Oh. That- really?" he stutters out, scratching his neck. _Adorable. He's so adorable_ _._ Sewoon relaxes, grinning even wider, laughing when Gwanghyun tries to hide his smile with his hand.

"I...I missed you too."

"I know."

"...Gwanghyun? Are you crying?"

"What- no! No!! I'm not!!"

"........."

"...Do you need a hug?"

"...Yeah."

 

He's never leaving him behind again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stop sleeping on gwanghyun @starship  
> i can't believe they aren't debuting as a duo???? he better be featured in sewoon's debut istg


	2. (attempting to) comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ive been pretty inactive but i just can't leave popang alone lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i intended for this to be a oneshot but...life has a way, you know?  
> thanks to everyone who commented! they really made my day! (which was like a year ago rip) comments really do fuel fanfic writers lol

 

Sewoon poked his head into the room, his eyes focusing on the tossing and turning heap of blankets. Upon being told the bad news about his debut, he knew his friend would have tried, but failed, to sleep it off. He knocked twice on the door, quietly stepping into the bedroom. Upon hearing the knock, the heap settled down, Gwanghyun's head poking out. His eyes narrowed when he saw Sewoon standing awkwardly in the corner, staring at him. He pulled the blanket over his face as Sewoon made his way over to the bed, relaxing in the temporary darkness.

"Gwanghyun, are you okay?" Sewoon sat down on his bed, putting a cautious hand on his thigh - or at least where he thought it was, hidden underneath a thick blanket. He pulled at it to uncover his friend's face, only to have it tugged back. He yanked it back with a strong tug, forcing the hamster to come out of his natural habitat. Gwanghyun cleared his throat quietly, hiding his face with his arm. He wondered if he should just pretend everything was fine and kick him out. 

"I- No, I guess not." Sewoon's eyes widened in concern, scooting towards his friend. His grip on the blanket tightened, his other hand gently pushing his arm away from his face. He came face-to-face with Gwanghyun's wide eyes and rosy cheeks, freezing at the close proximity. 

His face reddened even more. He pulled his arm out of his grip, resting it on his stomach. Sewoon leaned in, only a few centimeters separating the two of them. The faint orange light from the bedside lamp cast a golden glow on the room, enveloping them in their own little world. They held each other's gazes, eyes shining from the luminescence of the lamp. Sewoon furrowed his brows at the dazed look in Gwanghyun's eyes and the flush in his cheeks, frowning in concern. 

"What's wrong?" Sewoon murmered, rubbing his thigh comfortingly. Gwanghyun averted his gaze, turning his head to the side as he felt Sewoon's breath tickle his nose. He cleared his throat nervously, turning to look back at his friend. His normally sleepy expression was gone, eyes alert and completely focused on him. Maybe too alert, Gwanghyun noted when he realized that Sewoon almost looked like he was getting scared out of his wits in a haunted house. His laughter manifested itself in a coughing fit as his friend looked on in concern. Flustered, he chewed on his lip, nearly passing out when he saw Sewoon's gaze slip down, pupils dilating.

Gwanghyun cleared his throat, bringing his blanket to his chin. Sewoon snapped out of his trance and nodded, smiling encouragingly at him.

"Well?" he coaxed.

"F-first of all...that's...not my leg." he mumbled, his cheeks burning as he tried to hide further underneath his covers.

Sewoon blinked. His hand froze mid-rub.

"Oh."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't edit these note things correctly lol help


End file.
